(Don’t) enjoy the journey

It’s a common saying ‘enjoy the journey not the destination’ or ‘happiness is a journey not a destination’. There’s some truth in that - if we become fixated on the end result, the destination, then we might end up missing something along the way (like a view, a tree or a squirrel if we take this journey -> destination thing literally) or we wish-our-time-away with our eyes on the prize, the mountain, the end. But, what if the journey is tough, boring, repetitive, dull and so on. What if the journey is joyless? Hey, what if the journey isn’t meant to be enjoyed?

I’m a runner (though not so much this year as I tore my ACL in a skiing accident in 2019) and there are many, many times that I’ve not enjoyed running. I’ve not enjoyed the journey. I don’t love running as much as I love stopping. Then eating all the pizza and cake I can find. I found, over time, that the further I ran, the more I enjoyed stopping. And so I ran 10km, then half marathons then marathons. Stopping after running a marathon is euphoric. The sense of accomplishment, pride and inner strength is overpowering (I cried when I finished my 1st marathon). The food and drink consumed after a marathon is unbelievably good, your body is just craving fuel and tingles with joy when you re-fuel it. Running a marathon is tough. Often dull. Often painful. Generally not fun. I don’t enjoy running marathons. I enjoyed having RAN a marathon.

Learning to drive is also dull. It’s technical, stressful, confusing, and just hard. Funny thing is no one ever tells you to enjoy a driving lesson. Enjoy the journey! Learning to drive isn’t supposed to be fun, it’s supposed to be education. If your driving lessons are fun, then you (or your instructor) are doing-it-wrong. I didn’t enjoy learning to drive. I enjoyed being ABLE to drive and the freedom it gave me.

Music is a passion of mine, I’ve been playing music for probably 40+ years of my existence and I’m sure I’ll continue playing music till the point at which I can’t. I’ve spent a few of those 40 years (not enough) learning how to play music. I’ve had formal tuition at school, college and music schools. On both piano and bass guitar. I’ve learnt how to read music, chords, theory and elements of song-writing and music production. Lots of that learning has been academic. Scales, arpeggios, ii V I progressions. Music theory is quite dry at times. I spent maybe a year or so at college learning how to harmonise a 4-part Bach chorale. Most of that was painfully dull. If the lessons were in the afternoon then I’d often been in the pub at lunchtime (another story for another time) which made it more tolerable, but less musical. I’ve also had lots of fun music lessons with laughs and banter. And though I know both approaches are valid, I learnt far more (and more useful) in the dull lessons than the fun ones. I didn’t enjoy learning music. I enjoyed having LEARNT music and being able to make music I love with people I care about.

When I’m running or doing chores I often listen to audio books. I alternate between sci-fi (just finished Ready Player TWO (not as good as Ready Player ONE, but still good)) and something educational. My educational choices could be philosophy, history, business related. I do enjoy reading the sci-fi books (oh no, I enjoyed the journey! My blog is a hoax and contradictory! Nah.) but the educational ones, not so much. I read them because I want to have the knowledge that is inside them. I don’t always enjoy reading, but I always enjoy having READ.

(okay, I’m done with examples and metaphors. I feel like I’m labouring the point).

To summarise;

The journey is just the journey. You don’t have to enjoy it. It’s often not fun, and it mostly isn’t supposed to be.

Learning to read music is boring. But being able to read music is joyous.

Running is dull and hard work. But being fit and health is invaluable.

Learning to drive is technical and stressful. But being able to drive gives you freedom.

Reading academic books is dry and often tedious. But having knowledge of the world around us gives us wisdom.

• For teachers - you don’t have to make your lessons fun. You have to make them valuable. Fun is a distraction from the work.

• For students - you don’t have to enjoy your lessons. It’s not meant to be fun, it’s meant to be work. If you’re having fun, you probably aren’t paying attention.

Last thought, if you focus your energy on trying to enjoy the journey and you can’t, then you’ll probably give up. But if you understand that the destination is the goal, then you can hunker down and do-the-work.

Bye-for-now, keep safe, keep healthy and rock on.